You know those months that drag, weighing you down with the feeling of not really getting anywhere; like being stuck out at sea, trying to swim back to shore against a relentless tide, and no matter how much effort and energy you put into swimming you never quite reach the safety of land.
That's exactly how May has felt.
That's exactly how May has felt.
I have definitely had worse months in my life, but I think May has been my sit and think about everything month of 2016. When something happens that forces you to take time out of everything and let yourself slow down to allow time to recover, everyday things get difficult.
Firstly, physically.
For nearly two months now, I haven't been able to walk properly. Whether that be struggling to move from my bed, on crutches, one crutch or limping around. It's been tough. As someone who's been very active, constantly playing sports and keeping on my feet, throughout my life, to then suddenly be unable to even stand on my own two feet without help has been a challenge. Strength is building up and I'm nearly there. The lack of driving and even walking has meant relying on others a lot, and for those people that have given me lifts and walked with me around and about, I thank you.
Secondly, emotionally.
I'm not one for being an emotional person, I keep to myself a lot and if I'm going to cry, it'll be once every few months, when everything has got too much. Well, I think this month everything got too much, too often. The past couple of months have been tough, and they've flown by very quickly, I've tried to keep busy and keep going; but that all caught up with me. Frustration and helplessness has been rife this past month, which has therefore led to many tears and that gets boring, and fast.
Finally, mentally.
Luckily, I've had amazing people surrounding me, without them I'm sure I would have been in a much worse state. I've also had lots of work and event planning, which has kept me on my toes and once I'd found motivation to get on and do it, kept my mind focused. However, I would be lying if I said I hadn't spent a week in bed, two times over. I've had days of intense anxiety, which hasn't been fun, but I've made it to the other side and whilst it'll never go away completely, it's back 'under control'.
May and June haven't been the best of months to me in the past, mainly thanks to exams, but I'm feeling stronger this time round. I've got through May, and now I'm tackling June head on, meetings, work, events, catching up with friends I haven't seen in quite some time, being able to drive further than twenty minutes down the road without my knee swelling up and being a pain (yes literally) and making it to 1st July and heading to a festival is all I'm focused on now.
(side note: this blog post was written in two halves, at two very different times, I apologise if it jumps, but without wanting to edit it too much, I've just kind of left it how I typed it out...)
For nearly two months now, I haven't been able to walk properly. Whether that be struggling to move from my bed, on crutches, one crutch or limping around. It's been tough. As someone who's been very active, constantly playing sports and keeping on my feet, throughout my life, to then suddenly be unable to even stand on my own two feet without help has been a challenge. Strength is building up and I'm nearly there. The lack of driving and even walking has meant relying on others a lot, and for those people that have given me lifts and walked with me around and about, I thank you.
Secondly, emotionally.
I'm not one for being an emotional person, I keep to myself a lot and if I'm going to cry, it'll be once every few months, when everything has got too much. Well, I think this month everything got too much, too often. The past couple of months have been tough, and they've flown by very quickly, I've tried to keep busy and keep going; but that all caught up with me. Frustration and helplessness has been rife this past month, which has therefore led to many tears and that gets boring, and fast.
Finally, mentally.
Luckily, I've had amazing people surrounding me, without them I'm sure I would have been in a much worse state. I've also had lots of work and event planning, which has kept me on my toes and once I'd found motivation to get on and do it, kept my mind focused. However, I would be lying if I said I hadn't spent a week in bed, two times over. I've had days of intense anxiety, which hasn't been fun, but I've made it to the other side and whilst it'll never go away completely, it's back 'under control'.
May and June haven't been the best of months to me in the past, mainly thanks to exams, but I'm feeling stronger this time round. I've got through May, and now I'm tackling June head on, meetings, work, events, catching up with friends I haven't seen in quite some time, being able to drive further than twenty minutes down the road without my knee swelling up and being a pain (yes literally) and making it to 1st July and heading to a festival is all I'm focused on now.
(side note: this blog post was written in two halves, at two very different times, I apologise if it jumps, but without wanting to edit it too much, I've just kind of left it how I typed it out...)
